Lost It

Last night I had a meltdown and completely lost it.  And before I said or did anything horribly wrong, I locked myself in my room (with a glass of wine) and gave myself a timeout.  My precious Bella came knocking on my door a little while later and asked me if I was still in trouble.  It took everything in me not to laugh out loud because it was so stinkin' cute, but I pulled it together and told her yes and I still had 5 more minutes in timeout.  What I would give to have been inside her sweet head listening to her thoughts at that moment.  I came out later to refill my wine glass, apologize to my kids for screaming and told them I was relaxed now.  I was also in tears (again).  I hadn't planned on watching NBC Nightly News on the tornado in Oklahoma but it pulled me in.  My heart just breaks for everyone in Moore, OK.  So there I sat for 45 minutes listening to story after story of people praying for their lives and the lives of their children while this monster barreled over them.  I can only try to imagine.

One of my biggest fears as a momma is something terrible happening and me not being with my kids.  I have experienced this to some degree once, and I don't care to ever have to go through it again.  The helplessness is unbearable, you can't drive, walk or run fast enough to get to your babies.  As a momma, you want to protect them at all times.

Same goes when they are in school.  You want to do everything you can to help them excel, help them do the best they can do, be the best they can be, get the help they need....and make the grades.

My dear sweet son is struggling in school this year.  So much so that he is in jeopardy of quite possibly not passing the school year.  I have feared this for months.  I have shared my fear with him and his teachers.  From Chris I have heard, "I got this" or "I know"....from his teachers I hear that 7th grade is a tough year and that he is a good student, just sometimes gets lazy (didn't I talk about this just the other day).  I got a letter in the mail yesterday from school confirming my fear and that sent me into orbit.  I have always tried to maintain my coolness because with Chris, if you yell...he shuts down. But no amount of calmness, yelling, taking things away or allowing him to do activities with friends has worked...nothing.  I asked him last night if it would bother him at all being left behind another year, failing and having to repeat 7th grade.  His response was "yes it does".   Well then act like it son because what I'm seeing is someone who doesn't care (as I started crying).  He started to respond with "I know" but he knows I HATE HEARING THAT so he stopped himself.  That was when I left the room and put myself in timeout.

I'm at a loss.  I do not want him to fail but I don't know what else I can do.  I know its on him (this time), he has to do the work, he has to make the effort.  HE has to.  Its not going to be on the school this time.  When he was held back in 1st grade, that was on the school.  They failed him.  Because of miscommunications and protocol for children with suspected dyslexic and learning tendencies, our requests were ignored so he was ignored for an entire school year and forced to repeat the 1st grade.  Only at the beginning of his repeat year was he finally tested and found to not only have dyslexia but other learning disabilities as well.  I'm sharing this with you because Chris is a good student.  He has never used his learning disabilities as an excuse.  Never.  This is the first year he has struggled this much.  I'm doing everything I possibly can to help my child, all but physically going to school and doing the work for him...and believe me, I wish I could at this point!  I think seeing me cry for him last night might have got to him.  I say that because of the look I got when my voice cracked and he saw I was in tears.  I think he saw how much I want to help him, how worried I am for him.  Is this what it took all year for him to know this?  My stomach is in knots.  It took forever for me to truly calm down enough to go to sleep last night. I just want him to get through this year, to pass, to move forward.  And I selfishly asked God to please let him get through this school year, with passing grades and move forward....knowing full well that there are many more prayers being thrown up....prayers that aren't selfish like mine. 

Thanks for listening.

DADIM - Week 2

So I had a guy comment on FB that this whole dress a day thing was total nonsense.  I told him I would keep my true response to his comment to myself because it wasn't polite.  He then apparently deleted his original comment.  Guess he realized it wasn't nice.  It wasn't that big a deal, except that his comment involved my daughter which irritated me most.  Had he made that comment another day, it might not have bothered me as much.  It was just one of those days.  All I'll say now is...if you think its nonsense, don't look at the pictures or "like" them on FB or Instagram you idiot.

I think its fun...and heck, it makes me work a little harder at being creative with my wardrobe, which is kind of the whole idea.  Men, what do they know?  ;)

Day 13 - Little Black Dress

Earrings - Lola Kay Hood original.

Mrs. Hood was my social studies teacher in 7th grade.  Still love her.

Flip Flops - Forever Treasures

Day 14 -Bella asked for sparkles :)

Outfits - Target & Wal-Mart sale racks

Day 15

Dress - Palais Royal clearance rack!! Woo Hoo!!!

Jewelry - Brighton (Gifts from one of my BFF's)

Day 16

Partial loser.  Wore a skirt...no pics.

 

 

Day 17

All from the back of the closet and jewelry box!

Necklace is one of my favorite pieces from Sunny Hearts

Day 18 - George Strait's Birthday!!

For those that didn't know...

Dress - Sunny Hearts

(you really should go check them out, tons of cute stuff)

Necklace - Charming Charlie's

Kids - Mine.  You can't have them. 

 

 

Day 19

Total loser.  No dress. 

 

And there you have another week in A Dress A Day In May.  Two more to go...think I'll make it? Stay tuned to find out. 

 

Y'all have a good one!

One Proud Momma

While grocery shopping last night, I was watching my son with his little sister.  The sweetness he has with her, how protective he is of her...and how big he has gotten!  The tears welled up and I couldn't help but smile at what an awesome young man he is.  The pride I feel when I look at him and watch him in anything he does. 

He struggles with learning in school, but he never complains.  Most of the time, he gives 100%.  What kid (or adult for that matter) doesn't have lazy days every once in a while.  I know I do!  He has a very creative mind and has the biggest heart.  He's a giver and is probably one of the best friends a kid could have.  I am proud to call him my son, proud that he is an awesome young man, proud that he tries and pushes and says thank you and yes ma'am.

Just like my necklace, I'm one proud momma.

 

Secret Admirer

Just after lunch yesterday I received these beautiful flowers...

From a secret admirer...

The card read, "Every Day is a New Day, Make it a Good One!"

Clueless.

However, through some detective work and a phone call...the anonymous giver was discovered.  He also owned up to it later in the evening. 

A very sweet (and friendly-his words) gesture for someone who has been having a crappy time at work.  Just about everyone knows I love, love, love fresh flowers.  These are so bright and cheerful, how could they not make me smile.  I am enjoying them and I thank my new friend for putting some sunshine in my day.